Hot-Bliggity-Blog!

Well faithful readers, I have returned. I don't know what my deal is. I do know that for the past few weeks I've been constantly writing blog posts in my head but I never take the time to sit and write them out. There have been little events that I wanted to write about, pictures taken to share...and yet here I sit, almost a month later and it all still resides in the recesses of my brain. Maybe I'll get caught up sometime. I'm sure Grandma and Papa are wanting pictures and updates of kiddos...sorry!

I've had thoughts mulling around in my brain and I decided that I need to get them out, if only to give my head a rest. Every fall our church does a congregational study and this year it has been really good for me. We joined up with a small group (which we adore!) and have had a challenging and enjoyable time learning and growing. The book is by John Ortberg: When the Game is Over, It All Goes Back in the Box. The premise of it is deciding to live lives with eternal mindsets. We've been talking about how we spend our time, what our priorities are, are we using our gifts to further the Kingdom, that sort of thing. I know for me personally it has caused me to look a lot harder at the small things in day-to-day life and try to determine their importance.

One area I've really been struggling in lately is with clothing. I've actually been dealing with this problem since I lived in LA. I remember often comparing myself to others and getting worried that I was never dressed cute enough. I would run over to someone else's trailer and borrow clothes for special occasions when my closet didn't seem to do the trick. Living in Colorado I felt I had actually found a groove and was pretty content with my "style" but, I was also just home a lot and it didn't seem to matter much. Now being in PA I'm surrounded by fashionistas (that is a compliment!!) and it has been extremely difficult. I have found myself dressing to meet the unspoken expectations of others, which are probably non-existent. I stand in front of the mirror on days I know I'm going to see family or friends and change outfits 3+ times because I need to be cute enough. The past week or so I've gotten completely fed up with it. I found myself staring in the mirror wondering who that girl was staring back. Then I realized that my daughters had been coming into the room multiple times to ask for help with something and I kept telling them, "Just a minute, let me finish getting ready". They had seen me keep changing my clothes, checking out how I looked, and getting frustrated. Mommy couldn't come help because she is too busy getting dressed. What am I teaching these girls of mine? My heart's desire has been to show my girls that beauty lies within; that the strength of their character is what defines them, not how to best pair their skinny jeans with boots, scarves, and necklaces.

Now, before I offend anyone reading this let me state: I am not against looking nice and being stylish. I truly believe that as women looking feminine and nice are something that God has put in us to separate us from men. I enjoy buying new clothes. I like getting "cute" to go out with friends or with Matt. I LOVE shoes and purses and would buy lots of them if I was able to. I feel good about myself when I'm looking nice with some fun eye make-up on. I also know that for some people putting together outfits is an outlet of creativity. They are good at it and enjoy doing it. My issue is that I am not one of those people. I have to find the balance of looking nice without it becoming an idol. I need to be okay in my own skin. I need to find my style already and deal with it. SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO WEAR JEANS AND A HOODIE!!!! There, I said it. Because when it comes down to it, when I do start to think of it in the eternal box, I don't want to be remembered for how I dressed.

Oh man, does that feel good. I'm serious...I feel like a weight has been lifted. Hi, I'm Andrea and I always have been and always will be a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl.